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Recently, I was diagnosed with A.A.A.D.D.
Age Activated Attention
Deficit Disorder
My
wife's sister forwarded this to her. It's so true!
Thank goodness there’s a name for this disorder.
Somehow I feel better even though I have it!!
This is how it manifests itself:
I decide to water my garden. As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look
over at my car and decide it needs washing. As I start toward the garage, I
notice mail on the porch table that I brought up from the mail box earlier.
I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.
I
lay my car keys on the table, put the junk mail in the garbage can under the
table and notice that the can is full. So I decide to put the bills back on
the table and take out the garbage first. But then I think, since I’m going
to be near the mailbox when I take out the garbage anyway, I may as well pay
the bills first. I take my check book off the table, and see that there is
only one check left.
My extra checks are in my desk in the study, so I go inside the house to my
desk where I find the can of Pepsi I’d been drinking. I’m going to look for
my checks, but first I need to push the Pepsi
aside so that I don’t accidentally knock it over. The Pepsi is getting warm
and I decide to put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.
As I head toward the kitchen with the Pepsi, a vase of flowers on the
counter catches my eye—they need water. I put the Pepsi on the counter and
discover my reading glasses that I’ve been searching for all morning. I
decide I’d better put them back on my desk but first I’m going to water the
flowers.
I set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a container with water and
suddenly spot the TV remote. Someone left it on the kitchen table. I realize
that tonight when we go to watch TV, I’ll be looking for the remote but I
won’t remember that it’s on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back in
the den where it belongs but first I’ll water
the flowers.
I pour some water in the flowers but quite a bit of it spills on the floor.
So I set the remote back on the table, get some towels and wipe up the
spill. Then I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to
do.
At the end of the day:
-the car isn’t washed
-the bills aren’t paid
-there is a warm can of Pepsi sitting on the counter
-the flowers don’t have enough water
-there is still only 1 check in my check book
-I can’t find the remote
-I can’t find my glasses
-and I don’t remember what I did with the car keys.
Then
when I try to figure out why nothing got done today,
I’m really baffled because I know I was busy all day and I’m really tired.
I realize this is a serious problem and I’ll try to get some help for it
but first I’ll check my e-mail....
Do me a favor.
Forward this message to everyone you know
because I don’t remember who I’ve sent it to.
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WOMEN'S REVENGE
"Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to
purchase.
As she fumbled for her wallet , I noticed a remote control for a television
set in her purse.
"So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked.
"No," she replied, "but my husband refused to come shopping with me, and I
figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally."
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Words to live by: This was posted by a
fellow Realtor.
The
Importance of Walking
Walking can add minutes to your life. This enables you at 85 years old to
spend an additional 5 months in a nursing home at $7000 per month.
My grandpa started walking five miles a day when he was 60. Now he's 97
years old and we don't know where he is.
I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
The only reason I would take up walking is so that I could hear heavy
breathing again.
I have to walk early in the morning, before my brain figures out what I'm
doing.
I joined a health club last year, spent about 400 bucks and haven't lost a
pound. Apparently you have to go there.
Every time I hear the dirty word 'exercise', I wash my mouth out with
chocolate.
I do have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.
The advantage of exercising every day is so when you die, they'll say,
'Well, she looks good doesn't she.'
If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country.
I know I got a lot of exercise the last few years...... just getting over
the hill.
We all get heavier as we get older, because there's a lot more information
in our heads. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
AND
Every time I start thinking too much about how I look, I just find a Happy
Hour and by the time I leave, I look just fine.
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Cartoons
From Florida
Today Newspaper - 6/1/09
Cartoon by Jeff Parker / Caption by John Mayer
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